The Other Side of Naruto: Ai
by Leilsel97
Summary: Let's take a look back at the d-ranks: Sasuke rescues Naruto, catching his ankle right before he falls off the waterfall but it's not the waterfall Naruto needs saving from but a darkness lurking in the corners of his mind. What is it and can he be saved?
1. The Backstory

**Hey you guys, I'm back and I'm not dead, although I might be since some of you will probably be angry with me for just disappearing for who knows how many months and then out of nowhere telling you guys that I've discontinued Not Just Rivals and will be rewriting it. The story had some major plot issues and in the process of rewriting it I decided to add a back story to the beginning so that the attempted suicide scene would make more sense. I ended up getting a plot bunny and now I have a whole new plot. The first chapter from N.J.R might be included if I can get around to it. I'm really really sorry. First I lost the new chapter, then I realized there was no new chapter, and when I tried to make one, I just couldn't; I'd muddled up the plot beyond repair and had to redo the story. Then I had school and then... well I got more reasons and excuses than Kakashi, wanna hear 'em? Of course not.  
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**P.S this chapter has 5,172 words, is that enough for you to find it in your hearts to break my legs instead of my arms so I can continue to write? Although I do need my legs for running track... **

**Disclaimer (because I always wanted to do one in the original story): No, I'm not Masashi Kishimoto in disguise pretending to be a fellow fan fiction writer so I can hammer out my ideas.**

**Now, onto Not Just Rivals Rewritten: Ushinawa Ai vs Uzumaki Naruto! **

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><p><strong><em>Before you read, I must provide you with a better summary... When Naruto henges simply to be able to buy things from a shop without being kicked out, his henge receives a name. The henge, Ushinawa Ai becomes popular and has everything Naruto lost on that fateful day when he became a <em>jinchūriki<em> . Slowly, as Naruto becomes withdrawn and Ai gains popularity, Ai becomes Naruto's alternate personality. But Ai isn't the real Naruto and the only ones who miss him are the ones he let see his true self (Hinata and the lover mentioned in the summary). Will they be able to save the real Naruto, or will he become lost in his dreams and disappear completely, leaving Ai in his place?_**

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><p>He felt a firm hand grasp his ankle just before he hit the water. This time Naruto didn't even look up to see whether his teammate was smug or exasperated with having to save him. He was dropped unceremoniously on the dusty ground. Preparing himself for his teammates' scolds and chides, the young genin tried to block out the voices berating him. "Naruto, you should be more careful! You're lucky Sasuke-kun saved you!" <em>No, I'm not.<em> Naruto thought in response to the female voice's comment.

"Stop getting in the way, dobe." Of course, an arrogant reprimand from the-oh-so-mighty Sasuke Uchiha. Their jounin-sensei, tall silver haired, albeit young, man didn't say much; he just sighed and looked slightly disappointed. Picking himself up, Naruto trudged back into the river and continued picking up trash. Shame filled his entire being, he was a failure; he couldn't even help his teammates with a simple d-rank mission. He had been dead last in the Ninja Academy, and his skills still weren't much to speak of. On top of that, he had some random demon sealed in his gut and the majority of the civilians and ninjas hated him for it. Even the people who didn't know hated him for it.

Stabbing a piece of plastic rather forcefully, Naruto placed it in his bag. Naruto felt frustrated as well as shamed, every one loved Sasuke. Even if Sasuke was alone, he didn't have to be. He was a natural genius and had a butt load of talent. All the girls loved him and all the villagers, too. Naruto was almost alone. He had Iruka and the third Hokage, but even they couldn't be there for him all the time. When he looked up, the river was clean and the mission over. Naruto followed silently after his teammates and sensei to collect their mission pay. Naruto perked up slightly at the idea of being paid. If he could perfect his henge technique, then he could disguise himself as a civilian and buy food. Naruto grinned at the Sandaime, taking his money, and said, "Isn't it great, I'm getting paid now!" Sarutobi chuckled at the young genin's cheekiness but his good natured smile faltered when he heard the pink haired girl mutter something about Naruto not deserving his pay. He didn't like the flicker of hurt that crossed the blond shinobi's countenance, either. Naruto left the Hokage's office rather quickly and hurried to his apartment.

Absently sitting on the window seat, the boy pulled out a shuriken and held it in his hand, observing it. He then flicked it across his right fore arm and watched as a red line appeared. He didn't feel like he was bleeding blood, he felt as if he was bleeding pain and loneliness. He felt his frustration drain away as he fell on his side, feeling a bit woozy as his cut healed itself. He didn't hear the clatter of the shuriken as it hit the floor; he was long gone by then. His eyes glazed over and his face froze in an expression of surprise as if he were seeing something other than his small apartment.

_"Baka, baka, how stupid look at the retarded demon kid he thinks he can be a ninja." Cruel voices teased and laughed at a small blond kid in an over-sized white t-shirt and blue shorts. He shrank back from the malicious crowd, semi-circled around him. In the background he saw a small pale girl with lavender eyes watching him with a regretful expression. She didn't hate him, and that was enough to get him through. The thought that someone didn't hate him numbed him to the pushes, and punches, and pinches, and kicks that the crowd had started to shower him with. It protected him from the hurtful insults and cruel remarks…_

Blinking slowly, Naruto shook himself and got up. How long had he been out? Shuffling around the space, Naruto opened his fridge. Alas it was empty, and just when he needed to eat, as his stomach painfully reminded him. Naruto went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He made a henge and inspected it. He had been transformed into a boy a little taller than himself with dirty blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. Naruto was now slightly tanned as compared to his normal pasty color and he wore a black over-sized t-shirt with a red leaf symbol on the middle and black shorts.

Grinning, Naruto grabbed his Froggy wallet as he left his room. It was still pretty light outside, so he couldn't have been out too long. The now dirty blond shinobi wandered through Konoha, wondering what to buy for dinner. Counting the money in his wallet, and realized that it wasn't much. With his hopes of buying dinner at a shop crushed, Naruto headed toward a stand that sold various fruits and vegetables. There was an array of different fruits and vegetables to choose from, but the blond had to be practical. Selecting chrysanthemum leaves, winter melon, bean sprouts, daikon, and bok choy. Paying for the food, he moved on to another stand that sold meat. He didn't have much money left, so he quickly bought some goat meat and then left in search of a stand that sold bread. He bought some egg noodles and a loaf of melon bread. Feeling satisfied with his groceries, he took them home and began to prepare something for dinner. He made a soup with daikon, bean sprouts, egg noodles, goat, bok choy, and chrysanthemum leaves.

The soup simmered slowly. To distract himself from his hunger, Naruto cleaned his apartment. It was only when he passed a mirror when he realized that he still had his henge. Releasing the jutsu, Naruto felt slightly relieved. Padding into the small bedroom, Naruto spied a shuriken on the floor, covered in dried blood. Naruto felt at peace, the sting of the shuriken or any sharp metal object really, took away the other things he felt. After he got his "fix" Naruto always felt strangely at peace. Maybe it had something to do with the flash backs he had, especially the pleasant ones. Naruto had just finished washing the shuriken when he could smell that the soup was ready.

Turning off the stove, Naruto ladled some of the soup in to the bowl and sat at the table with a pair of chop sticks. Gazing at the soup meditatively Naruto thought about the peace that he felt. How long would it be until he was hurt again, until he was bogged down in sorrow and frustration? Sighing plaintively, Naruto muttered a quick 'Itadakimas' before digging in to his food. The soup was absolutely delicious and he wolfed it all down. It was the first good meal he'd had in a month. When he got depressed, he never had much of an appetite. And when he did, he didn't have the energy to go and get food. Pretending to be okay took up so much energy. Being full for the first time in a month was a pleasant thing. Clearing up from his meal, Naruto wondered when his next mission would be. Hoping that they would get another mission soon, at this point Naruto would have been grateful for even an e-rank mission, Naruto headed to bed. Falling asleep was easy; sleep always came fast on the day he got a fix. And if he was lucky, he would sleep well every night that week.

Smiling in his sleep, Naruto was in a land of sweet dreams...

_Naruto noticed the pale eyed girl sitting all alone on a swing. Sitting on the swing next to her he asked if she wanted to play. "Sure!" she sounded surprised, but pleased. Hardly anyone reacted to him this way. They swung higher and higher until Naruto went flying off his swing. Somersaulting in the air, Naruto turned so that he landed on his feet. The impact of the fall caused him to bounce a few times. "Wee! This is so cool!" Naruto cried happily. The girl smiled at him and clapped. He heard clapping behind him, too. He turned around and saw Iruka-sensei clapping as he came towards Naruto, "well done, Naruto-kun. That was a great trick! You have a great sense of balance." Ruffling Naruto's hair, Iruka looked up and saw Hinata shyly standing a few feet away, "Who's your friend?"_

_"Oh, this is… what's your name?"_

_"Ano… I'm…"_

And the dream ended. Naruto felt slightly disappointed that he didn't learn the name of his new friend. It had been such a wonderful dream, Iruka had been proud of him and the girl was his new friend. It was a terrible shame that the real world didn't work that way. Maybe he could make part of that dream real if he worked really hard, he could still impress Iruka. Maybe Sakura would agree to go on a date with him, or even just go somewhere as friends. Pleased with the cheerful prospect, Naruto went into the kitchen to make breakfast. He wondered how often people had winter melon for breakfast. Naruto brushed his teeth and showered. The water came out in freezing bullets that stung, but got him super clean. Pulling on a Black t-shirt and his orange pants and jacket, Naruto headed out.

The air was humid and warm and Naruto suspected that it might rain. He wandered to training ground seven and noticed his not so cheerful teammates. "Jeez, Naruto, you're so late." Sakura whined. Sasuke ignored him, which was just as well since he found the raven's arrogant remarks rather hurtful and annoying.

"Good morning to you too, Sakura-chan. Sasuke," Naruto greeted his teammates. Walking to a random tree, Naruto took out some red and white paint (don't ask where he got it, he's the king of pranks, of course he has paint, I mean did you see the Hokage Monument?) and painted a bulls eye on it. He set the paint down and went to stand about ten feet away from the target. Taking out a shuriken, he held it by the point and tossed it at the target and watched it fly. The shuriken reminded Naruto of a miniature Frisbee. Too bad the Frisbee didn't hit the center; it barely nicked the tree the target was painted on. Naruto threw another shuriken. This time, he threw it more like a Frisbee. It hit the dead center of the bull's eye. Trying it again, it hit just next to the previous shuriken. Smiling, Naruto tossed two shuriken which embedded in the target. The next one hit the shuriken that was over the center of the bull's eye. Naruto backed up five feet and continued practicing. It took him more attempts to hit the mark this time. He continued his target practice until Kakashi showed up.

"Good throw Naruto, glad to see at least one of you is doing something worthwhile. Shinobi and kunoichi shouldn't be too idle." Naruto grinned. He couldn't wait until he told Iruka about this, he had done something right, for once, and someone seemed genuinely happy that he had done well. Naruto was on his way to making his good dream a semi-reality. He thought his day would be a great one.

"You're late!" Sakura accused peevishly.

"Thanks captain obvious," Sasuke rolled his eyes; he had long given up expecting his sensei to be on time.

"What's with those two?" the late sensei asked Naruto.

"Who knows? Wouldn't they have figured out by now to arrive later?"

"I guess not," the silver haired sensei looked back at the cranky genin.

"Well, aren't we going to start training?" Sasuke asked impatiently.

"Hm? I was waiting for you." Kakashi looked up from his book which he had just pulled out.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and Sakura spoke up, "If you don't train us, how will we get stronger?"

"By shutting up so that you live another day to make time," Naruto answered wisely, noticing the tic mark on their sensei's head.

"No one asked you, baka, jeez, you're so annoying!"

Naruto sighed and muttered, "You don't have to be so cross…"

"Okay!" Kakashi announced cheerfully, closing his book. Not that the three genin knew it, but he was going to have some fun messing with them since they were so cantankerous, their reactions would be hilarious.

"Okay, what?" Sakura asked.

"We're going to start training!", and with that Kakashi was gone.

"Where did he go?" Naruto asked looking left and right repeatedly and then looking up and down. Not seeing their teacher, he thought the training would be to find him. "Oh, I get it! We're supposed to find Kakashi-sensei for our training; if we can find him then we can find anybody!" He noticed Sasuke and Sakura sneaking away. Naruto asked them, "Hey, where are you going?"

"To go find sensei, dobe," Sasuke said. Naruto blinked, "Okay then, I'll go see if I can find him…"

""Whatever," Sasuke left and of course, Sakura followed. Hurt that his teammates had left him alone, Naruto turned to go find their sensei on his own. Where would Kakashi-sensei hide? Somewhere really clever, where they would never think to look… somewhere once they found out where would make them feel like total idiots. Behind a tree! Naruto looked behind all the trees, no luck. Maybe their sensei would be hiding under a rock? Naruto began looking under medium sized rocks. If his sensei was in a hole in the ground under a rock, then he would have to find a random empty spot under the ground.

Naruto pressed his ear to the ground. Maybe he could hear some sign of his missing sensei. Listening intently, Naruto could have sworn he heard someone breathing irregularly, as if to stifle a giggle. Smiling, Naruto walked over to the spot and stuck a kunai in the ground over the spot. If he tried to dig into his sensei's hideout, Kakashi would hear him and leave, the only other way to dig a hole really fast was a paper bomb. Attaching a paper bomb to the handle of the kunai, Naruto leaped away from it. "Kai!" the paper bomb blew up and Kakashi, who had just managed to tunnel far enough away not to die in the explosion, pulled himself up to the edge of the newly made gaping hole. "So you found me."

"I thought you might still be here. You are exactly the type of person to hide somewhere obvious where we wouldn't think to look. So I thought of all the places we wouldn't look, but would later feel retarded for not checking."

"Oh." Kakashi sweat dropped. While Naruto had found him, his thinking process was just a little off. "Very… creative and um, intuitive…"

"Well, Sasuke and Sakura were so cranky this morning you might be tempted to play a prank on them. I specialize in pranks! I painted the Hokage Monument and then managed to escape the Anbu and chuunin and jounin for more than an hour!" Naruto grinned proud of his skill. Kakashi's sweat drop grew, this seemingly dull boy managed to hide from highly skilled ninjas before graduating the academy while wearing orange. Either this boy was a semi-genius, or they really needed to reevaluate their staff.

"Where are your teammates?"

The boys smile faltered noticeably, "they ditched me and went off somewhere to find you."

"Oh well, they can find their way out of the forest on their own. Well, I have some important business to attend to, ja ne!" Kakashi waved over his shoulder as he left.

"Ja," Naruto turned and left the forest to find Iruka-sensei. Wandering through town, Naruto wondered where Iruka could be. Wandering through town he noticed Sakura and Sasuke sitting on a bench. "Hey, what are you doing over there?" Naruto called to them.

"Looking for Kakashi, baka."

"I found him already; he said he had some important business to attend to so he left."

"WHAT!" Sasuke and Sakura looked shocked. The next thing he knew, Naruto was shoved against a fence, "WHERE IS HE?"

Cowering at Sakura's anger, "How should I know? He left!" Naruto insisted.

"DON'T LIE! YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS, TELL ME!" Sakura punched him and yelled at him again, "TELL ME!"

"Sakura," Sasuke called.

"Huh?" Sakura stopped her punch mid air and turned to look at Sasuke.

"He said he doesn't know. The dobe was probably lying the whole time. He's wasting our time, let's go." Sakura finished her punch and none too gently, either.

"Itai…" Naruto muttered and rubbed his head. It hurt to think his own teammates, who he had never lied to before didn't trust him at all. They didn't want him around; they hated him just like everyone else. It was when he was trudging home that Iruka called out to him, "Hey, Naruto! How's it been?" Then noticing his injuries, Iruka rushed over and began to clean his wounds with a white cloth he'd gotten from his first-aid kit. "What happened to you?"

"Sakura hates me…" Iruka looked at Naruto with great concern in his eyes when he heard this. Iruka's concern was comforting to Naruto. He didn't really need Iruka to treat his bruises, they would be gone within another five or ten minutes, but it was nice that _someone_ cared. It was almost like having a dad. But even Iruka's kindness couldn't fully heal the hurt that he felt at his teammates' hatred towards him.

After departing Iruka's company, Naruto went to a field to have lunch. It was a nice, balmy day and the gentle breezes were soothing. Naruto didn't do much eating, he was mostly thinking as he picked at his melon bread. He had been so close to having one good thing, but his teammates didn't even give him a chance. Maybe he had to make them see that he was worthwhile. If they didn't know that he was more than just the loud mouthed idiot they saw, then how could he blame them for how they acted? Brightening up some, Naruto began eating his lunch heartily and with new vigor. He would train on his own to become strong and then his teammates would accept him. He didn't notice that just a little darkness was still left in the corner of his heart.

Naruto wasn't sure what to do to train by himself. He supposed that physical strength and skill would be the place to start. He started with push-ups. He was only able to do twenty. Then he started doing pull ups. He managed to do ten. After that, Naruto tried to run a lap around Konoha. He made it a quarter of the way around before he was too tired to go on. Dragging himself home, pleased with his training, Naruto wondered what he would eat for dinner. The blond shinobi decided upon leftover soup and a salad would be suitable. That night, the boy had no trouble falling asleep; he'd had a tiring day. The next morning Naruto got up bright and early; the only problem was: he had nothing to do. He went outside to watch the sunrise. He gazed at the beautiful colors of the morning sky, feeling the fresh cool air making his skin tingle. Naruto sat on the railing of balcony after ten minutes since standing had grown tiresome. The sun was now about a third of the way raised, and Naruto could feel the contrast between the cool, fresh air on his skin and the warm sunshine on his face. Naruto closed his eyes in enjoyment of the feeling when someone asked him, "Oh, Naruto, I didn't know you meditated!"

"Huh?" Naruto looked down to see Iruka smiling at him, "Oh, is that what this is called? I woke up early and so I thought I'd watch the sunrise. The sun feels really good on my face."

"Oh, I see, well, keep up the meditating, it's good for your mind."

"Ne, Iruka-sensei, what are you doing out here so early?"

"Oh, I was taking a walk because it was such a nice morning. Well, I have to go get ready for the academy, see you!"

"Ja ne" Naruto waved at his former teacher's retreating form cheerily. Today was going to be a good day, and this time, it would stay good. Naruto wandered back into his apartment to look for something to eat. Not much later, the day found the said shinobi strolling through Konoha, munching on a piece of melon bread. He found himself at the bridge by the lake. Sasuke was gazing at the water with a troubled expression on his face. Naruto perched on the opposite railing and closed his eyes, facing the sun. He could feel the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the air, he could hear his breathing, and Sasuke's. Naruto thought he heard a strange pulsing sound, it was deep, rhythmic and calming… could he be hearing his and Sasuke's heartbeats? Naruto didn't have much time to ponder this as he could hear a faster pulsing accompanied by harsher breathing, and footsteps. Someone was approaching. "Whew… I'm not late." It was Sakura. "Good morning Sasuke-kun", she said sweetly. No response was heard. He heard Sakura walk over to where Sasuke was standing. "Sasuke, is anything wrong?"

"No… it's nothing."

"Naruto, what are you sleeping there for? You'll fall in the water and get us all wet!"

Naruto didn't open his eyes, "I'm meditating, not sleeping… good morning to you too, Sakura."

"Whatever.", Sakura left him alone after that. Naruto continued his meditating when he could almost hear a faint sound but not quite… "Kakashi-sensei is coming…"

As if right on cue, Kakashi appeared, "Good morning. I hope you're not too cross today, we have a mission,"

"Cross? You ditched us," Sakura said pointedly.

"No, Naruto found me, didn't he tell you?"

"He did…" Sasuke spoke up.

"Well then! Our mission is another d-rank mission, we are to catch Tora…"

"No way" Sakura protested.

"…" Sasuke glared.

"We'll take it!" Naruto chirped. His teammates shot him death glares, "What? Don't you guys need money from a mission for tools, or clothes, or rent, or food?" The glares almost softened.

"Well, go get Tora and then report to me."

"Hai!" and with that, team seven set out to catch Torah, again.

"Ne, ne, Sakura-chan," Naruto said after a while.

"What?" Sakura snapped.

"Isn't there some kind of food or something that cats really like? If we had some then maybe Tora would smell it and come to get it. Then we could catch him."

"Well there is catnip…", Sakura said thoughtfully.

"We could use it as bait for a trap!" Sasuke once again spoke up. Ten minutes later, a catnip plant sat near a concealed rope. Tora came over to investigate the catnip plant. Tora ventured closer, eyeing the potted plant suspiciously.

"Meow!" Tora was then hanging upside down by his back paw. Naruto walked under Torah and held out an open bag. A shuriken, thrown by Sasuke, sliced through the rope and Tora fell into the bag which Naruto tied shut.

"I got him! Or her... whichever." Naruto shouted.

"Let's just return the cat so we can go." Sasuke walked away, of course he was followed by Sakura.

Madam Shijimi squished Tora in affection as she profusely thanked Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke. "And the catnip was Sasuke's and my idea! Just put two intelligent brains together and you get an idea!" Sakura beamed. Naruto looked away, irritated but said nothing. Kakashi noticed this.

"Madam Shijimi? You forgot to thank Naruto," Kakashi reminded her lazily. He looked at Naruto with his eye and said, "and I think he had more to do with the retrieval of Tora than his teammates let on."

"Oh, don't be silly, there's no way such a dimwitted brat could have helped," Shijimi chuckled.

Kakashi wanted to say something else, but he couldn't exactly tell the daimyo's wife. Although being the wife of a daimyo didn't excuse anyone from such atrocious behavior. "We'll be on our way then, we have to report to the Hokage." Kakashi said, giving no hint to his irritation at Naruto's treatment.

"Alright then, see you later! Bye!" the madam waved happily as she watched the ninjas leave.

While Naruto was hurt that Madam Shijimi didn't like him and his teammates had lied, Naruto was glad that Kakashi had at least tried to stick up for him. Even if Kakashi might only be helping him because it was his job. He tried to ignore the people glaring at him as he passed by. Tired of the glares, Naruto ran into a field away from the main part of town. He was surprised to see a dark haired person picking lavender. Venturing over to the person he asked, "Who are you?"

The person looked up in surprise, which soon turned to fear as soon as they realized who he was. "Hi-hi-hi-nata Hyuuga!" the girl stammered. She had pale eyes which seemed strangely familiar.

Naruto sat down and asked, "Are you scared of me? Or are you shy?"

"Sh-shy... dreadfully so, I'm afraid." Hinata looked stunned to think that Naruto had thought she feared him.

Naruto blinked, "Oh... my name's Uzumaki Naruto, nice to meet you," Naruto held out his hand.

Hinata looked at his hand for a second and then took it lightly, shaking his hand with a slight squeeze, she replied, "Nice to meet you too, Naruto." she said this with soft determination.

And then he remembered. Back in the Academy when others would taunt him he would always see Hinata in the background, watching him regretfully. Sad that he was treated so, longing to help him or befriend him but too scared to do anything for him. It was Hinata who shielded him with her hate-less gaze. Hinata who never looked down on him, who truly wanted to be his friend from the start, who he could let into his own world. Smiling happily he said to the dream-Hinata, "I remember you, now. You watched over me all that time. You never hated me. And now I've found you out there, too." Dream-Hinata only smiled. Unfortunately for Naruto, the Dream-Hinata began to fade away as he was waking up...

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><p><strong>Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I want to thank all those special people who supported me in writing Not Just Rivals.<strong>

"Why are you all by yourself?"  
>"Hanabi didn't want to come with me, she said she'd rather train."<br>"Hanabi? Who's that?"  
>"My sister."<br>"I wish I had a sister."  
>"Do you have any brothers?"<br>"Nope, no known family."  
>"Oh, that's terrible!"<br>Naruto looked up, noticing that it was about lunch time, "shouldn't you be eating lunch with your teammates or family or something?"  
>"Ano...I probably should," Hinata began, " but I don't really want to." She admitted shyly.<br>"Why don't we go and have some dango instead?" Naruto suggested, happy at the prospect of having lunch with his new friend.  
>"Sure!" Hinata replied happily relieved that she would not have to brave lunch with Kiba (one of the said teammates). He scared her with his loud and boisterous personality, not that Naruto was much different, but at least he tried not to scare her.<br>As they were getting ready to leave, Naruto stopped to henge, "Transform!"  
>"W-what are you doing?" Hinata was blushing and startled.<br>"If the shopkeepers knew who I was, they would kick me out."  
>"Oh! Th-that's right..." Hinata remembered how she had seen the kids at the academy treat him. They seemed to hate him just like the rest of the villagers.<br>"So, how do I look?" Naruto had grown about an inch, gotten a tan, and his hair was a little longer as well as a more honey-brown/dirty blond color. It was his eyes that caught Hinata's attention, they still sparkled brilliantly with happiness and now mischief.  
>"Y-you look, um...great!"<br>"Thank you Hinata-chan!" Naruto enthused, grabbing Hinata's hand as he made his way toward the dango shop. Hinata blushed, smiling at the now dirty blond boy, as she followed in suit.

At the dango shop Hinata and Naruto had an animated almost one-sided conversation. Hinata was still shy and didn't talk very much. Nevertheless, Naruto learned that Hinata's favorite color was purple, she liked lilacs and lavender, loud and sudden noises scared her, and she hadn't had many friends. She had a few acquaintances, but they didn't know her very well or notice her most of the time. She wished she could be stronger and hoped to stop blushing and stuttering as much as she did. Likewise, Hinata learned that Naruto, despite being disliked by most of the village had a few acquaintances and a big-brother figure. Konohamaru considered Naruto his and Moegi's and Udon's rival, but respected him. She also learned that she was his first friend and one of the first people to accept him and one of the only people who had never hated him.

By the the time they finished eating, it was starting to get dark. "Oh dear, it's rather late for me to be out, I should be getting h-home now..." Hinata sounded regretful.  
>"That's alright, Hina-chan, I should probably be going too; I want to train a little before I go home. Want to train together tomorrow?"<br>"Sure, what time?"  
>"We can meet up and train before lunch, see you then?"<br>"H-hai, ja ne" Hinata waved as she left.  
>"Ja!" Naruto returned the gesture before heading home. He wandered over to the forest to train. He wasn't sure what to do, so he started doing push-ups.<p>

"Hinata, you are late returning home." Hiashi stated.  
>"Gomenesai," Hinata bowed in apology.<br>Hiashi was surprised that Hinata hadn't stuttered, blushed, or fainted at his sudden statement. Deciding that if whatever had been keeping his daughter was making her stronger, it was alright. He didn't want to push his luck by asking her where she had been, so he decided to let her off the hook, "It is alright. You may go now," for now... Hinata thanked him and hurried out of the room. Another surprise, she hadn't run or scurried to get away from him. Hiashi mentally smiled at this development.

Naruto lay on his bed, slightly tired, as he fell asleep smiling.

_Before he knew it, Naruto was back at the swing set with the pale eyed little girl. She smiled, happy to see her new friend again. "What's your name?"_  
><em>"My name is Hyuuga Hinata."<em>  
><em>"Hinata!"And then he remembered. Back in the Academy when others would taunt him he would always see Hinata in the background, watching him regretfully. Sad that he was treated so, longing to help him or befriend him but too scared to do anything for him. It was Hinata who shielded him with her hate-less gaze. Hinata who never looked down on him, who truly wanted to be his friend from the start, who he could let into his own world. Smiling happily he said to the dream-Hinata, "I remember you, now. You watched over me all that time. You never hated me. And now I've found you out there, too." Dream-Hinata only smiled. Unfortunately for Naruto, the Dream-Hinata began to fade away as he was waking up... <em>

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it will be a while before you see the next one because I will be busy. Eight classes, plus track, plus chores equals not a lot of writing time. But please review, the reviews inspire me to make time for writing. It's nice to know someone appreciates my work. As for the romance stuff, it will come later...much later. Tell me what you think, and plese tell me if there are problems with this chapter so I can fix them or take them into account when writing the next chapter.<strong>

**I would like to thank the following reviewers for supporting N.J.R:**

**Yuki Free**

**Cervello**

**kaear**

**XBloodSplatteredAngelX**

**Darkened-World**

**kalbus2002**

**Not Just Rivals Obituary**

**While the story was fairly popular (10,483 hits, 40 favs, 45 alerts, and 28 reviews) it was troubled and the plot was soon lost.  
>It broke my heart to have to end such a young story (6 months old 20,108 words long), I was glad that I was able to do it justice by rewriting it.<br>I'm sure we all hold this story in our hearts as it had wonderful potential and I hope you who read the original approve of my use of that potential  
>and think that I rewrote N.J.R well. Let us believe that N.J.R has not died, but been reborn (and renamed) and welcome N.J.R's new debut with open hearts and minds.<strong>

**Thank you. **


	2. Getting Started

**Alright, so I finally updated. I'm so uber sorry that it took me so long. I have so many reasons and excuses but no one wants to hear those, right? Okay, so not counting the author's notes (basically the writing in (parentheses) AND bold) this chapter is 4, 178 words long (isn't that something like 4k?) So yeah, enjoy and review. (Or else I'll take forever and a day to update) Btw check out my newest one shot "Recipe for a Funny Fanfiction" I wrote it as a kind of "I'm so very sorry my update is late" present.**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: (because I like making them) I don't own Naruto, Itachi and Sasuke do... or was it Hinata? I kind got bored when the bids for Naruto got past 50 million billion yen when Naruto was being auctioned off... go men<strong>

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><p>So far, Naruto's day had been fairly average. He meditated again (if sitting in the sun was good for your mind, then he would do it with no problem), got whined at by Sakura for being late and then again for casually eating his melon bread while waiting for Kakashi-sensei, tied with Sasuke in a spar (Sakura whined and said it wasn't fair that Sasuke had to fight without really trying so Naruto wouldn't feel bad), and had a short but fun argument with Sasuke (who apparently did not appreciate being called duck butt). Of course Sakura had scolded Naruto for that last one, no one insults her precious Sasuke-kun. Naruto felt slightly irked at his pink haired teammate's crazy obsession and even more irritated at the fact that Sasuke let her continue on like that never really telling her to back off, but sometimes speaking harshly to her whenever he didn't ignore her. It was as if Sasuke only used her to annoy Naruto.<p>

"Naruto are you even listening to me?" Sakura whined.  
>"No...was I supposed to be?" Naruto answered innocently.<br>"YOU BAKA! YOU WEREN'T EVEN LISTENING YOU JERK, YOU-" Naruto tuned her voice back out. He was anticipating his training session with Hinata and the lunch they would have afterwards. Although he felt in a slightly darkened mood since waking up, he had something to look forward too. He heard Sasuke speak up. (A/N: Sasuke is quiet most of the time unless he's being an arrogant jerk face, although once in a while he speaks up and is somewhat useful)  
>"Sakura, will you please stop pestering Naruto?" he asked massaging his temples, "He's barely even listening to you, and it's starting to annoy <em>me<em>."  
>Sakura's ranting and rambling stopped, "Oh, sorry Sasuke-kun."<br>"Earth to dobe, if you keep standing there with that calm expression on your face I'm going to slap you, it's creepy seeing you not react."  
>"WHAT? SLAP ME? WHAT DID I DO?" Naruto jumped, startled, and then glared at Sasuke who smirked, having successfully irritated the blond.<br>"You spaced out like a retard."  
>"I'm not retarded," Naruto muttered, when he remembered he kind of was because he had momentarily forgotten the reason why he had been spaced out. "Oh my gosh I'm so totally going to be late! OH MY GOODNESS I CAN'T BELIEVE, I MUST HAVE KEPT HER WAITING!" Naruto ran off, leaving a confused Sasuke and Sakura at training ground seven, the slowly growing darkness in his heart forgotten.<p>

Racing as fast as he could, Naruto headed towards Teuchi's Ramen where he was supposed to meet Hinata. Unfortunately he was racing a little too fast because he crashed into someone. "Oof!" Realizing who it was, Naruto jumped up pulling the person up with him by the hand. "Oh my gosh, Hina-chan I am so sorry! Please, I didn't mean to knock you over, it was an accident I swear, I'll never do it again I-"  
>"Naruto!"<br>"What?"  
>"It's okay, I wasn't looking where I was going either." Hinata, in her irritation at Naruto's unnecessary apology, had forgotten to stutter and be extremely formal and polite.<p>

"Oh my goodness, Hinata!" Naruto squeezed her with a bone-crushing hug.  
>"What?" Hinata gasped out.<br>Naruto held her out in front of him by her shoulders, "You didn't stutter, oh my gosh I am so proud of you!"  
>Hinata blushed. Naruto was proud of her? She didn't stutter? She had also forgotten to be formal and polite. Was this... good? "Hina, do you know what this means?"<br>"No."  
>"It means we must celebrate! After we train, we are going to a restaurant of your choice, on me. How about it?"<br>And now she was being asked out? Oh this was just too much. "...sure..." was all Hinata had time to say before she just passed out.  
>"Hina... Hina-chan...? Wake up..." Someone was shaking her. What happened? Oh, right, she had a training session followed by a celebratory date with Naruto.<br>"Naru..." she was almost out again.  
>"Don't pass out again, please?" Hinata sat up again "Oh, thank goodness, you're alright!"<br>"H-hai... would you still... like to... go train?"  
>"Sure!" Naruto pulled Hinata up and the two finally set of to train.<p>

Halfway through their training, Naruto made a deadly mistake. "Even though Sakura is really cute, you're a better training partner- oof!" Inspired by his off-hand comment, Hinata in short burst of jealousy, delivered a chakra-filled strike to Naruto's crotch via foot. "OW!" Naruto was sent flying backwards about fifty feet.  
>"I'm so sorry, Naruto-kun!"<br>"W-why are you sorry... when you... won?"  
>"I beat you in a... spar?"<br>"Yeah! Try not to get to down about it, I'll be fine. I heal super-quick. Wanna go eat now?"  
>"Uh sure" Hinata brushed herself off and helped Naruto up. Naruto made a ram seal before transforming into a slightly taller and much tanner boy with dirty blond hair that was longer than Naruto's normal spiky bright blond do. His whisker marks were gone with some of his baby fat and he had spiky bangs framing his face. "What... what are you doing?" Hinata asked in alarm. Naruto, wasn't cute anymore, he was hot... and scarier than normal.<br>"Normally, I'd be kicked out of any place other than the ramen stand and that one dango place, but if no one knows who I am, then I can take you anywhere. Remember, it was your choice? I don't want who I am to get in the way of you having that celebratory dinner I offered."  
>"But Naruto-San, you don't really have to do this..."<br>"It's nothing, it's nothing. Where do you want to go?" Hinata didn't like this idea, but if Naruto wanted to take her somewhere, at this point, it would do more damage not to go than it would to go. Even if Naruto was a little scarier. She had gotten used to his loudness, hadn't she? Well then she could get used to his transformations, too.

"Ano... how about this one place downtown... they sell red bean soup... it's called Place 19, I think."  
>"Yosh!" Naruto grabbed Hinata's hand and began running toward downtown Konoha. "Yatta! There it is!" Naruto yelled, as they neared it. They sat on the bar stools at the wooden counter when Naruto noticed that Hinata was slightly out of breath. "Oh, I'm so so so so sorry! Did I drag you all the way here? I was excited, I never noticed, gomen nasai Hinata-chan."<br>"It's alright N-" Hinata stopped talking and blushed, "no harm done." she finished in a much smaller voice. She had almost given away Naruto's identity and gotten him in trouble. "g-gomen..." Hinata felt embarrassed to have to ask her own friend what she could call him.

"Oh, hey, Hinata-San! Nice to see you here, who's this nice young man you have here with you, today? I haven't seen you before," asked a man in his mid to late twenties.

"Ah- uh... ano..." Hinata wasn't sure what to say, she didn't know if she could just rename Naruto like that.  
>"Ai!" Naruto chirped cheerfully. "Ushinawa Ai, nice to meet you, sir."<br>"Oh, nice to meet you too, Ushinawa-San. I'm Nakamura Michio, so what do you want to eat?"  
>"Do you have any naruto?"<br>"Sure! And what about you, Hinata-San?"  
>How ironic, Naruto eating naruto. "I would like a bowl of zenzai, please."<br>"Coming right up." Michio turned back to the stoves to prepare their orders.

Hinata was nervous. She was out on a date with Naruto who looked awesomely hot but was scary. "Eep!" He caught her staring.  
>"Hinata?"<br>Oh eep, "Yes?"  
>"What's your favorite food?"<br>"Ano, I like cinnamon rolls." what a relief, he didn't mind her staring.  
>"Really? That's great, I love cinnamon rolls! Even though ramen is my favorite food, cinnamon rolls are a close second, hey have you had monkey bread? It's super good."<br>"Yes! I have, it's nice, although I prefer cinnamon buns. Do you like red bean paste? I think it's good?"  
>"Sure, it's alright. I like red bean ice cream, though."<br>"Me too!"  
>"Here's your orders." Michio set their food in front of them.<br>"Itadakimas!" Naruto and Hinata chorused before digging in.  
>"What about ice cream? Do you have a favorite flavor? Mine's orange." Naruto asked, popping a naruto in his mouth.<br>"Um, yes, red bean, of course, and then green tea ice cream. Oh and cookies and cream is my favorite ice cream flavor of all time."  
>"Really? I love cookies and cream, I also like green tea flavored ice cream, superman ice cream, red bean..."<br>"Superman ice cream? Are you serious? Yuck! It looks like paint spilled on vanilla ice cream or something."  
>"What about blue moon?"<br>"That's the best flavor ever. Do you like strawberry ice cream?"  
>"Ugh, no. It's way too sweet."<p>

Naruto and Hinata continued their conversation about their likes and dislikes happily with Hinata's worries and nervousness from before forgotten. Before they realized it, they had been laughing and talking for over an hour. As he was walking Hinata home, Naruto heard a noise. "What was that?"  
>"I don't know."<br>Of course curiosity got the better of them and they went to find the source of all the commotion. A bunch of civilian kids were yelling at a ninja in a green spandex suit and orange leg warmers. Naruto sidled up next to the boy and asked him, "hey, what's going on here?"  
>"I accidentally kicked their ball into the sky and it never came back."<br>"Whoa." Naruto whispered.  
>"No," the kid whispered. The ball smashed down in front of them. "Now <em>that<em> is whoa." Naruto nodded.  
>"Who are you?"<br>"Rock Lee"  
>"Cool. Alright! This kid here is my friend now, so you can all bugger off or I'm gonna kick your stupid butts all the way back to the time of the Shodaime Hokage! Lee is a ninja, got it? Don't freaking mess with him! You got your stupid little ball back, right? So go home <strong>before <strong>I hand you your butts on a silver platter!" The small mob left with their ball.

"Who are you?" Lee asked.  
>Naruto looked around to make sure no one was watching before dropping his henge. Unfortunately, before he could, a girl in a blue Chinese style shirt with sleeves and a gold design jumped out of the trees and said, "Lee! What is it with you and getting in trouble? Thank you so much, sorry about that. Come on, Lee!"<br>"Ow, ow, hai I'm coming Tenten! Wait I never got your name!"  
>"Ushinawa Ai, ja ne!"<br>"Ja!" Lee was dragged off with Tenten.

Naruto lay on his bed thinking. His day had been better than average. He talked to Hinata and he befriended Lee. Being Ushinawa Ai was fun, no one glared at him or whispered insults and he was allowed in any shop he wanted to go to. Of course, it would have been nice to be able to do so without the disguise, but Naruto was grateful that he was able to do these things at all. One day, he would be able to drop the henge and everyone would realize who he was and would be able to see past Kyuubi. To see him. But right now they didn't, they only saw Kyuubi, they only saw Ai. Why couldn't they see Naruto? Why was he so invisible? Oh well, he would change that. Naruto rolled over and closed his eyes, ignoring the growing darkness.

_~Dream~_  
><em>"Naruto..." a soft and distant voice whispered.<em>  
><em>"Naruto..." The voice called him again.<em>  
><em>"Naruto!" The voice sounded insistent.<em>  
><em>"NARUTO!" Who was yelling his name?<em>  
><em>He opened his eyes and sat up. His vision was blurry and everything was tripled. When his sight cleared he could see that he was surrounded by nothing and it was all dark. But there was just the tiniest wisp of light hovering in the distance. "Who are you?"<em>  
><em>"I'm no one, you're here all on your own. You're all alone, ha ha ha ha!" The voice laughed crazily. <em>  
><em>"But you're here!"<em>  
><em>"And I'm no one, he he, you're in the dark and you have no light. No one loves you, no one even knows you're here, ha ha! They see Kyuubi, they see that Ushinawa brat. Baka, you think anyone cares about you? They just want to see Ai. He'll fill up this space and then there will be no room left for you. Too bad, ha ha! You'll just have to go away. No one wanted you anyways." The light twisted as it mocked Naruto, turning all sorts of ugly could feel himself being pulled towards consciousness as he sat up again.<em>  
><em>~End Dream~<em>

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Naruto shot up screaming. He gasped and panted, his eyes crazed and full of fear. "No, no this can't be... No I don't wanna... I can't...no..." Naruto began searching frantically, he couldn't stand this darkness, it was too horrible. But then he stopped when he found his hitai-ate. "Iruka..." he whispered. Clutching the headband to his chest he sank back to the floor, sighing in relief. Iruka saw him for who he really was and so did Sarutobi-jiji, and as long as someone knew he was there he wouldn't have to disappear. The darkness had abated and Naruto was given a reprieve... for now.

After the dream, things started to go downhill for Naruto. The next few weeks wore heavily on Naruto. From training and missions with team 7 to training with and getting to know Hinata to his guilt over lying to Lee, Naruto just wasn't feeling his usual good natured self this morning. When he woke up that morning, he hardly felt as if he could get out of bed, his ramen was tasteless and bland, and when he tried to meditate, eerie echoing laughter reminiscent of his nightmare haunted him. Bedraggled and in low spirits, Naruto hardly felt as if he could even smile. Even walking to the training grounds was a struggle as the ever present glares of the populace made him feel as if he were being burned alive.

"Naruto-baka, you're late!" Sakura whined.  
>"So?" He snapped irritably, having had enough of the pink haired menace. "Kakashi isn't here and if he's late, it doesn't matter if I'm a little late, too."<br>"What!" Sakura made to punch Naruto's head. But he wasn't having any of that today. He grabbed her wrist and gave it a chakra enhanced squeeze. "Ouch!" Sakura yelled and pulled her wrist back, looking hurt. Sasuke, the jerk face had the nerve to smirk at this.  
>"Just... leave me alone today." Naruto said darkly. He stalked off to do some target practice. He experimentally channeled some of his chakra into the kunai right before he threw it and the kunai went straight through the tree, shattering the rock behind it. Kakashi, who had just shown up, was astounded.<p>

"Naruto?" Kakashi's eye was widened in shock. He had never seen his student behave this way.  
>"Shut up, okay! I'm sorry about your wrist, Sakura, just leave me alone!" and with that he ran off leaving a very bewildered team 7.<p>

Naruto, as soon as he was out of sight transformed into Ai, he couldn't take being Naruto anymore. "Oh, hey, Ai! So nice to see you again!" It was Lee, Naruto really couldn't bare to deal with anyone right now, but seeing someone happy to see him was a small relief.  
>"Oh hey, Lee, what's up?"<br>"I was just heading off to train, wanna come with me?"  
>Naruto knew he shouldn't, but at this point he just didn't care, "Yosh! Lead the way!"<p>

A few hours later, Naruto was not only cross, but exhausted. Apparently, Lee's idea of training included climbing up the one nearly vertical side of the Hokage Monument without chakra or use of climbing equipment. Not a good idea for someone in Naruto's condition. After thanking Lee for inviting him to train, he went to the field where he usually hung out with Hinata. She must of had training that day because she never showed. On his way home, he noticed a man trying to pick pocket this old woman. "Hey you, what's in her pocket that you need?"  
>"What!" The thief spun around. Naruto didn't have time to reply as the lady turned around and whacked the thief right over the head. By the time he made it home, the old woman had made sure the entire town knew he was a hero. Naruto dropped the henge and passed out on his floor.<br>It was then that Naruto's career as Ushinawa Ai shot off at light like speed.

As time went on, Naruto spent more and more time as Ai and less time as himself. He gained quite the reputation among civilians for being helpful and something of a hero and was quite popular among the female population.

Whispers of "Look! There's Ushinawa Ai! Isn't he cute? Just look at his- oh! He's looking at us," were heard whenever he walked through Konoha as 'Ai' and calls of "Hi, Ai-kun!" whenever he caught them staring were becoming a regular thing.  
>There were whispers and shouts of, "Look, it's Ai! He's so hot!" or "Look there's the guy that helped me find my purse!" Given the chance to interact with people without being prejudged harshly as he would have been had he been walking around as Naruto, he did his best to be kind to people. He wanted to prove that he was not a monster, even if it was only to himself. The village people didn't know this, but they really appreciated him. Even Sakura seemed to like him as Ai. He had taken her out on a few dates this way.<p>

On one of their Dates-  
>"So, Sakura-chan," at this time, Sakura would giggle, blush, or do both, "what's it like being a kunoichi? It must be very hard, but you look intelligent, so I guess you can do it. But may I ask how?"<br>"Oh, ha ha, it's not that bad really. Sasuke is really cute, but he doesn't notice me, like you do she blushes, "and Naruto can be such a baka, but lately he's been really quiet and I hardly see him. I guess that's good?" Ouch, Sakura still didn't like him much.  
>"Oh... maybe he's having a hard time..."<br>"How can that possibly be? He's got the easiest life ever, no parents to bother him..."

-End of snippet of Date

Of course none of this was good for poor Naruto because no one saw him for himself, it was almost as if he was invisible. Sakura only liked him as Ai and it was for this reason that Naruto regretted every last one of those dates. Naruto was only kind as Ai, he was only a hero as Ai. he could only ever be generous as Ai. Ai, Ai, Ai! It seemed these days, everything was all about Ai and Naruto was getting tired of it.

Naruto was also having a hard time feeling much of anything besides tired, pretending to be Ai while pretending to be alright when he was Naruto was taking a toll on him. Another thing that darkened his days was Hinata's disappearance from his life. He had not seen the raven haired girl in over two weeks. To tell the truth Naruto just plain missed Hinata. Her presence was one of the few things that brightened his days.

All of this was just bringing him down, these days, Naruto was low in spirits and it almost showed. Almost. This could mean only one thing: it was time to cut again.

Naruto found himself in the field again, missing Hinata like crazy and feeling extremely tired. Pulling out a kunai, he dipped it in the ink he had brought with him. It was raining, perfect. Despite his general lack of energy, he was filled with anticipation to feel alive again. He moved with almost frantic energy as he began slashing his wrists and chest, he wrote out Hinata's name over and over again. He drew hearts and the kanji for unloved. Getting creative this time, he created a shadow clone and had it write 'I don't want to disappear' on his back. He randomly wrote his name and 'I'm sorry' all over his body. This was art, this was his release. This was... his drug, the one thing that kept him going. It was a slow and painful process; despite this it was gloriously freeing. He bled out his pain and frustration. He watched his blood drip beautifully from bright red lines marking his body. It never ceased to strike him as beautiful, the sight of his blood.

Relieved and full of grim satisfaction, he let the clone dispel. He reveled in the clone's memories of his little 'ritual'. Lying in the grass, Naruto felt at peace, whole and complete. The wind smelled fresh and clean, like the rain that washed him clean. It felt wonderful on his healing skin. Naruto let a moan escape his lips, whether it was a moan of pleasure or pain, he didn't quite know or care anymore. The feeling in his entire body was profound and the most amazing thing he ever felt. It was a new day. Finally, this dark shadow that had plagued Naruto for the past month or so was gone... for the time being at least.

Staring up at the sky, Naruto wondered how long he could keep hiding from the world. _Forever, I guess, _he thought, _as long as I can cut to release all my tension and the darkness I feel building up in me, I can be Ai forever. But, _he thought sadly, _if I keep parading around as Ai, will anyone ever see me for who I am? I know that Iruka-san did, and that Sarutobi-jiji did, and I'm pretty sure Hinata-chan did. But why does it seem that they disappeared from my life right when I need them most? Oh well, I'm kind of glad they didn't see me like this... I don't want them to see me so angry and frustrated. I might have accidentally hurt them had I seen them. But it's okay now because I just feel so nice..._

Closing his eyes, Naruto slowly began to let go of his grip on consciousness. Smiling slightly Naruto slipped from awareness and lost himself to the feeling that always came with a good cutting. What he didn't know was that this session had been different. It had been different in two major ways. The first thing being that he had not been alone and the other being that his 'habit' had been discovered.

Ironically, it was at this time that the pale eyed Hyuuga heiress decided to show up, right after Naruto had lost consciousness. Hinata, seeing Naruto passed out in the field rushed toward him, alarmed. She felt terrible guilt for neglecting her friend and crush. Finding his cut and wounded body had been one of the worst experiences in her entire life. All these weeks she had been on missions and hanging out with Shino. She felt guilt not only because she had neglected the blond, but because she felt that she had betrayed him as she now had a crush on Shino. A crush, she feared, that was stronger than the romantic feelings she had towards Naruto. Reaching out with a delicate hand to caress the unconscious blonde's cheek, the Hyuuga heiress felt hot salty tears leaking out of her pale eyes.

This whole scene including Naruto's little cutting session did not go unobserved. From his place out of site, he came to stand at the Hyuuga heiress's side. Placing a hand on her shoulder he said, "I think we both have a similar concern for our friend here. I think we should get him out of the rain, he might catch a cold..." His eye holding much sorrow and grief for the blond, and guilt for his failure to realize the blonde's situation much earlier.  
>"A-alright... where... where... do we take him?"<br>"Let's head over to my place." He picked the slumbering Naruto up over his shoulder and the odd pair walked out into the rain.

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><p><strong>Alright, so in your review if you could tell me what you did and didn't like please? Oh and reasons why you would or wouldn't leave a review (other than laziness) that would be nice. So I love you guys so much so please review! This story and my works are sponsored solely on your reviews, unless you want to be reduced to finding it on Quizilla where the updates take even longer and everything is difficult to find.<strong>


	3. Caught!

**Hey, I know it's been a while and all, but I updated didn't I? So no breaking my arms and legs Xp**

**Disclaimer: Well, a great author once tried to get a hold of some Naruto characters but pawned Itachi off on her, she then rejected him and put him up on E-bay. I had the highest bid, so Itachi is MINE! j/k I own nothing *anime tears***

**I know this chapter will be kind of mysterious and short but, I just followed my writer instincts on this one, enjoy!**

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><p>"Did you know?" He asked, glancing at her with his uncovered eye.<p>

"About this? No, but I did know he was lonely... I feel so terrible, it's all my fault."

"Is it? I am partially responsible for his safety as his jounin instructor and I spend so much time with him, and yet, I didn't know any of this, so how is any of this your fault?"

"Even though I knew he was mostly alone... I neglected him. I didn't visit him, or anything. I forsook him for another..." Tears filled her eyes.

"Hey, don't feel too bad, he won't blame you. When he hears he'll be happy for you."

"B-but I will, and the... the other, I don't think he knows..."

Naruto blinked his eyes and slowly sat up, looking around he sees two people. "Oh, hey Hinata... Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing here?"

"This is my apartment, I, we brought you here."

Realizing that they might have seen his little cutting spree, Naruto began to panic a little, "Hey, Hinata, Kakashi, why am I here? Did something happen to me?" He asked, hoping to sound stupid.

Kakashi glared at him, "We think you know that's not 'what' happened to you but more of a 'who' happened to you, and I'm pretty sure you know damn well _who _it was"

'_Dang, they caught me' _"Okay, so you got me there! I guess I should know what happened, huh?" He says with an embarrassed grin and scratches the back of his head.

"I _saw _what you did to yourself Naruto." Kakashi says warningly, narrowing his eyes. He is warning Naruto to stop playing dumb and tell the truth.

"N-naruto-kun? Is... is it true that you... did this to yourself?" Naruto notices that his wounds have been bandaged up, Hinata continues, "When I found you... I... felt so scared for you... and so guilty be-because I wasn't there... to support you. I didn't... abandon you... but I neglected you... so ano..." Hinata looked down before facing Naruto again, " I'm sorry! Please tell us what happened!" she shouted with her eyes squeezed shut and her face flushed. Having said what was eating at her, Hinata's features relaxed some and she opened her eyes.

"You... you're apologizing? You haven't done anything wrong, Hinata-chan, you don't need to be sorry!" Naruto felt guilty now, he continued backpedaling, "You have other friends, I understand that, and you should be able to spend time with them! I... I missed you, but please, don't blame this on yourself! I'm the one who went crazy and cut himself up!" Slap.

Hinata glares at him, "you are my friend, Naruto-kun, and no one gets away with hurting you, not even you." Naruto rubs his cheek in surprise. Hinata had slapped him. It had been a Juken strike so his cheek stung. All he can do is stare at Hinata with wide eyes. He looks to Kakashi who only meets his eye with a cold glare.

"Just what do you think you were doing cutting yourself up like that? You could have killed yourself like that!" Kakashi feels guilty for not being there for Naruto, but he needed to get some answers if he was going to be able to help the boy. And he couldn't get any information out of the blond without being harsh, that and he was annoyed that Naruto tried to lie to him.

"I was thinking that I needed a distraction!" Naruto yells, but backs down immediately, realizing what he has just said.

"From what?" Kakashi was so close to knowing.

Naruto looks down, ashamed, "from being lonely, from being afraid... from everything."

Kakashi's eye widens in surprise, but softens with sympathy, "Naruto," he says, gently, touching the blonde's shoulder, "what are you scared of?"

Naruto didn't want to think about what scared him, he didn't want to worry about no one ever accepting him for who he was, couldn't bare the thought of "disappearing" as the haunting voice from his dream had put it. Naruto flinched under Kakashi's hand and withdrew, scared and exhausted, he curled up into fetal position. Sighing, Kakashi pulls his hand back and turns to leave the room. Hinata follows him out after one last worrying glance in his direction.

Naruto just closes his eyes and goes back to sleep.

"Well, I should go then," Hinata bows respectfully, "thank you for letting me stay as long as I have."

"No, problem," Kakashi opened the door for the Hyuuga heiress, "you can come back to visit him if you would like."

"Thank you, I'd like that," Hinata smiled. And then she was gone. Closing the door to his apartment, Kakashi slumps down to the floor. Sighing, he begins to worry about his blond student.

'_What should I do about Naruto? He almost killed himself today and is obviously very depressed. I could have prevented this had I been paying closer attention, had I just talk to the boy. Ugh, now is not the time to be beating myself up over this, Naruto needs someone. I need to go help him; I can feel guilty for not doing this sooner later.'_

~Kakashi P.O.V

I stood up and stretched a little. I walked back to my room and noticed that Naruto had fallen asleep. I guess his little self-destructive episode and the dramatic interrogation that followed tired him out. Naruto looks very vulnerable in his sleep, he whimpers. He must be having a nightmare, I brush a lock of hair out of his face. My fingers linger on his cheek as I slowly withdraw my hand. Ironically, my touch seems to have calmed him. When he was awake he flinched in fear, but now he is much more open, much less angry, and much more... innocent. Sighing, I adjust the blankets covering him and leave. He can have my bed, tonight and tonight only. Sleeping on the couch isn't so bad after all. But before I can do that, I should probably eat something. I haven't eaten in the past three days and I don't remember if I drank any water today.

Shuffling around my small kitchen, I put a kettle on the stove for tea and get some grapes out the fridge. Green grapes are the best, they taste wonderful, tart, and juicy. Plus, they're bite sized. I pop a couple of grapes in my mouth and enjoy a burst of juice and their tart flavor as I begin to chew. I've finished the grapes when the water is boiling.

I love chamomile tea, it smells nice and has a good flavor. So even if I don't drink it, I can stare pensively at nothing whilst enjoying its fine scent. Like what I'm doing right now. I have the latest copy of Icha Icha Paradise but I just can't seem to concentrate on the words. I try to read them but I can't focus my eyes on the print enough to make out what it says. The words look like insects crawling around on the page. Shutting my book, I pick up my tea. I know that I need some form of water to stay alive, so I begin to "drink" the tea. Force feeding myself tea is not fun, but since it's chamomile tea, it's easier; even though my stomach is turning the tea tastes good so drinking it is only half as unpleasant. I'm in the middle of sipping my tea and idly staring at the fire place when I hear movement. Naruto has appeared in the doorway. "Kaka-sensei..." he mumbles sleepily.

"Hm? Naruto? What are you doing up? Go back to bed."

Naruto rubs his eyes sleepily, stifling a yawn he says, "but shouldn't I go home?"

"No..." think fast Kakashi... you can't let him go off by himself! He's only half awake, it'll be easy to talk him into going back to bed... um... uh, "it's late and you're injured. Unless you want to go to the hospital..."

"...'s okay... I'm tired anyways... thanks, night," the sleepy blond says almost inaudibly, not that he realizes that he's mumbling or anything.

"Good night Naruto." I watch him shuffle away, heading back to my room. Deciding that I can worry about death by dehydration later, I turn off the lamp and lay on the couch to sleep.

~Normal P.O.V

Naruto settled back down among the blankets, glad that they hadn't gone cold yet. He didn't even remember why he had wanted to go home anymore, he was much more comfortable here than he ever was at home. What reason did he have to return to his nightmares? He knew he couldn't avoid it forever, but he could put it off... for now. Inhaling Kakashi's scent, Naruto was lulled back to sleep by the comfortable cozy aura this place had. He couldn't quite figure out why, but when he was here, Naruto knew he had no need to fear disappearing.

The darkness growled at the icky sappy feelings Naruto felt. Why should _he _feel safe and secure? Right when he was so close to breaking, _so close. _It wouldn't have taken much to push the boy over the edge and now he was pulled back again, to safety, and was far out of reach. To top it off, he had these disgusting feelings of safety and comfort, as if! Nothing could protect the boy, this was just a little delay. The plan to breaking the blond and freedom lie far ahead, but were still within grasps. Waiting and patience was all that was needed to gain freedom. Freedom led to revenge, but first, the blond must disappear, and although he was fairly innocent, he was in they way. How dare he walk around feeling oppressed when he did the same to yet another! The darkness seethed and raged quietly as it brewed its sinister plans that best be left unknown to the unsuspecting blond lest he wake screaming.

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><p><strong>Oh, dear, what have we here? Naruto is not as safe as he seems, all cozy in Kakashi's bed... <strong>


	4. You Don't Have to Be Alone

**I've updated so soon! This chapter is a little on the short side, but that's okay. No idea when the next one is coming. The whole darkness issue with Naruto's nightmares cutting and depression are NOT solved. He just got over an episode, give him a week or two, there'll be more Naru-torture. Mwahahahahahahahaha! **

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><p>Kakashi lays on the couch awake. He's waiting for Naruto to wake up. He wonders if he should really let the blond go home so soon. Unfortunately the masked man is unsure on how to convince Naruto not to go home. Meanwhile, Naruto is laying on Kakashi's bed wondering how long he can stay. He isn't sure how he can ask his sensei if he can stay at his house without sounding childish or weird. His stomach grumbles so he gets up.<p>

"Hey, Kashi-sensei, you're up." Naruto walked in.

"Yeah, just waiting for you, you hungry?"

"Maybe a little," Naruto admitted, smiling sheepishly. His stomach growled loudly.

"I'm thinking you're more than just a little hungry," Kakashi stood and headed to the kitchen. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Um, sensei? It's noon and we had training today at eleven."

"Oh? Well I guess I'll be an hour late if we hurry." Kakashi said, unconcerned, as he rummaged through the cupboards for breakfast ingredients.

"I wonder how pissed Sakura and Sasuke will be, they can be so impatient."

"That stupid teacher of ours, he's always late!" Sakura stormed, pacing around impatiently. "And that idiot, Naruto is late, too! What's his deal? He's so selfish! Does he think that because he has no parents to scold him, he doesn't have to even bother showing up on time?"

"Sakura, shut up would you?" Sasuke glared at her darkly, "Kakashi is always late, if it's such a big deal, don't freaking come early. How can you say such a thing about a person who has no parents? I have no parents!" He averted his glare and refused to talk to her anymore.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend _you _I-" Sakura began to apologize. Unfortunately for her, she had realized her deadly mistake too late to repair it.

"But you meant to insult Naruto." Sasuke cut her off, "I don't care if he is an annoying idiot, he doesn't deserve to be made fun of for _that_."

"But he's a monster!" Sakura insisted, "my mother said, that he's a heartless monster who took so many parents away from their kids and-"

"Listen to yourself! How is that blond idiot who doesn't have the skill to kill a fly, such a murderous monster? The only thing he kills is ramen!"

"But-"

"Shut up now, Sakura," Sasuke said, dangerously. Sakura was scared now. Even if they were all buddy-buddy and hated on Naruto together, Sasuke could be scary.

"Sasuke, you're scaring me! You usually _like _talking about how much better than Naruto you are, I don't understand."

"It's because you're just as stupid as Naruto!" that shut Sakura up.

"I didn't know you could cook, sensei!" Naruto exclaimed, wolfing down his orange pancakes.

Kakashi smiled at Naruto over his plate of sunny side up eggs and coffee. "If you like the pancakes, you should try these eggs," he said pushing his plate over towards Naruto. He wasn't hungry, so if he let Naruto eat the eggs, he wouldn't have to eat and no one would be the wiser.

"Thanks!" Naruto forked an egg off the plate.

Kakashi watched Naruto eat for a bit before speaking, "Hey, Naruto-kun... can I ask you a few questions?"

"Uh, okay," Naruto was worried.

"You have issues. There is a reason why you cut yourself up... it was to escape, wasn't it? Last night you said you were scared. What are you scared of, Naruto? What is it going to take for you to trust me enough to tell me that?"

Naruto was surprised, "Well I..." what _would_ it take? Could he tell Kakashi about the haunting darkness? Could he be sure that Kakashi wouldn't reject him after finding out? Only one way to find out, "I would have to get to know you better," he decided.

"Alright, I think we can make that happen, don't you?" Kakashi sighed before continuing, "Look, we should head out. But we can talk more later, take it easy training, tho," Kakashi stood. "We need to get dressed, I have some clothes that shrank in the dryer so you'll be good for today."

"Thanks, Kashi-sensei," Naruto smiled, although inwardly he was nervous about changing in front of his teacher.

Kakashi changed into yet another navy turtleneck and sweats. He wrapped bandages around his right thigh and ankles before pulling on gloves and a flak jacket. Naruto was surprised at how defined Kakashi's muscles were, for someone so lazy, he was sure muscular! Fighting a blush, Naruto pulled on navy sweats and a short sleeved black turtleneck. Kakashi noticed that the blond had some nice muscles that weren't defined now, but would definitely be prominent when he got older. Neither looked at each other when they walked out of Kakashi's room. Kakashi idly wondered where Naruto had gotten his orange jacket when he pulled it on as they left. "Where are we going?" he asked Kakashi, he was pretty sure the training ground wasn't in this direction.

"The memorial stone," Kakashi replied. When they stopped, Kakashi spoke again, "You know, your mother's name is on this memorial, right there, Kushina Uzumaki. She was a really kind woman, almost like a mother to me. She'd want you to hold your head up high and be proud of who you are so that other people will see it too and respect you. She'd say, he's my kid so what? Got a problem with it and I'll smash your face in!" Kakashi almost laughed, Kushina-sensei would so say something like that.

"Thanks, Kashi-sensei..." Naruto thought about Ai... could he tell Lee and the bun headed girl the truth? He couldn't expect others to respect him when he didn't even pride himself enough to show his face in public. Pushing the growing trains of thought back, Naruto sighed and turned to Kakashi, "how late are we?"

"Late enough, come on."

Sakura's eyes lit up when she saw Naruto and Kakashi, Sasuke was way too scary for her at the moment and now there were people here to break the tension. She was saved! "Kakashi-sensei! Naruto-baka! You're late!" She ran over to them. The unusual thing about it was that she seemed so happy and relieved.

"Uh, yeah..." Naruto looked at her nervously, since when does Sakura hide behind him from Sasuke? "You're not mad?"

"Of course I'm mad, you baka!" Sakura screamed through the anime tears that had escaped her eyes, pummeling his back (with much less force then usual, Naruto noted), "You should have been here sooner!"

Naruto looked to Sasuke who was glaring bitterly, and then it all came together. He looked back to Sakura, "You pissed him off, didn't you?" he stepped back from her, "and now you want to hide behind me, Sasuke?" Naruto asked looking back at the brooding Uchiha.

"You make me sick! We can't stand you, Naruto, but... there are lines that shouldn't be crossed, even concerning you. You badmouth and abuse him all the time, (not like he doesn't deserve it at least half the time) but as soon as I prove to be too scary you go and hide behind him like you think he should protect you! It's disgusting. You're so two faced, Sakura."

"Look who's talking! You hate him almost as much as me! And then you get all pissy and start defending him and turn on me! You're the hypocritical one Sasuke, don't pin this on me!"

Kakashi and Naruto were beyond shocked; they couldn't believe Sakura spoke to Sasuke that way. "Like you're not? At least I'm not hiding behind the one I use as a punching bag."

"Hey Naruto, want to go train? Let's leave the other two to solve their lover's quarrel and deal with their troubles in paradise. We've wasted enough time here already." Kakashi turned to leave, not at all impressed by the teenage drama taking place.

"We are NOT lovers! If you're going to train, I'm coming with you," Sasuke stood, not even casting a glance in Sakura's direction.

Kakashi was sick and tired of Sasuke's attitude. Did he really think that after all of that that he would be welcome to train with him and Naruto? Did he seriously believe he was right? "I am here to teach you. Stop wasting my time with such childish drama, if either of you want to come with us, you'd better leave your petty arguments behind. Sasuke you are NOT the leader here, I will decide who is and is not included in today's and all of our training sessions. It is not your decision whether Sakura trains with us or not. Sakura, if you don't want to be sent home, I would suggest that you refrain from hitting Naruto again when you know he's not the source of your problems."

Sasuke stopped glaring. Sakura stopped crying. Naruto was surprised. They had never seen Kakashi so angry before. Kakashi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "you all obviously need to work on your teamwork before we can do anything else. If we want to rebuild some semblance of camaraderie and trust, we're going to have to get past this tiff. Naruto, I believe you have some useful input?"

Naruto scratched his head and studied his teammates, "as many times as you call me a baka you two really are idiots. Both of you insult me almost all the time and refuse to work with me. So both of you are hypocritical two faced jerks who, and neither of you has treated the other very well."

An awkward silence followed.

"Well, _that _was awkward," Naruto said as he and Kakashi walked towards Teuchi's House of Ramen.

"You could say that," Kakashi said pensively.

"You have something on your mind," Naruto stated.

"I do..."

"That was an invitation for you to tell me what you were thinking of," Naruto replied pointedly.

"After this... where will you go? You seem to be okay now, but after this if you go home... you'll be alone. Is that really okay?"

After a long pause Naruto answered, "No, it isn't, is it? Not really... I... I don't want to go home. I don't look forward to being alone... I won't be okay if I am."

"You don't have to be alone."

"Who would stay with me? Where could I go?"

'_He really is dense sometimes...' _Kakashi thought, "you could stay with me." Naruto didn't answer. With a final slurp of the remaining broth from his ramen bowl, Kakashi said with a sense of cheerfulness and finality, as if ending some pleasant conversation with well wishes and promises of later visits, "Well, you don't have to answer right away. Think about it. Come see me when you have your answer. I have a few errands to run, ja ne."

"Ja," Naruto mumbled.

Sasuke stared at the pond, with a rather thoughtful expression replacing the usual scowl that normally resided on his face. _'I don't hate him...' _

Naruto looked around his apartment. It was dull and very lifeless. While it didn't feel dangerous, there was not much of a sense of safety here either. Naruto decided that he liked it better at Kakashi's house. But, would it really be okay for him to stay there? Sitting on his bed, he began to look around his room.

Hinata sighed. Had she been too harsh with Naruto that night? He had scared the unholy shit out of her when she found him all cut up and bleeding. She was more upset with herself, her neglect had surely played a role in the causes for such a thing. But the way he'd avoided their questions... didn't he trust at least her? But why should he? She had forgotten about him and went of, living her disgustingly happy little life, and spent time with Shino instead of keeping Naruto company when she was his only friend. Sure, she was allowed to have a life besides Naruto, but that was no excuse for abandoning him. Why hadn't she introduced Naruto to her friends and family, so that he wouldn't ever be alone, even when she was gone? Was she really so selfish that she wanted Naruto all to herself, even if it meant leaving him to face insane lonliness driving him to near suicide? Hinata quivered with worry and guilt.

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><p><strong>No, Hintata is not gonna cut her self. She just got through slapping him for doing the same thing last chapter. She felt guilty for not spending time with him and blames herself for his episode. She was scared, guilty, and angry at Naruto for trying to avoid the issue. You know sweet little Hina-chan, she doesn't stay mad for long. Oh and for anyone who wants updates on chapter progress and how soon you can expect an update, check my profile.<strong>

**Love you all!**

-**Leilsel97**


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